Category: Relationships; Mental Health | Reading Time: 4 Minutes
Your phone screen is actually warm because your thumb has been hovering over the refresh button for twenty minutes.
In the logical world, a delayed text message usually means a nap, a dead battery, or a busy shift at work.
But in your world right now, that silence feels like an indictment. You’ve already convinced yourself he’s cheating. Or he’s bored. Or he’s currently deleting your photos to make room for someone cooler.
Naturally, you grab your Tarot deck. You aren’t shuffling for wisdom; you’re shuffling to spy.
You pull ten cards in a row, asking the same panicked question: “Why isn’t he answering? Is he with someone else?” until you finally see a “bad” card that confirms your worst fears.
Put the deck down. Now.
You are hyperventilating over a paper cut, and you’re about to bleed all over a perfectly good relationship.
Punishing the New Mailman (Pavlovian Trauma)
This isn’t intuition talking. It is Trauma Projection.
Observe how Bane (my 12-year-old white hunter) reacts when a stranger enters the house.
If a previous visitor accidentally stepped on his tail, he is going to hiss at the next person who walks through that door—even if they’re just trying to give him a treat. He isn’t reacting to the current person; he is reacting to the memory of the pain.
This is Pavlovian Conditioning.
You are doing the exact same thing. You are punishing this new partner for the crimes of your ex. Because you were betrayed before, your brain has rewired itself to treat silence as a threat.
You are scanning for danger like a feral cat backed into a corner. But you need to remember a fundamental truth: Just because you feel unsafe does not mean you are actually in danger.
The Zoomies vs. The Stare (Velocity Check)
How do you tell the difference between a genuine Red Flag and pure Paranoia?
Look at the “Velocity” of your thoughts.
- Paranoia is the Zoomies: It is chaotic, hot, and destructive. It knocks over vases. It demands that you double-text, call his friends, or stalk his “Following” list right now. It is urgent, loud, and usually triggered by a lack of data.
- Intuition is the Stare: When a cat sees a bug on the wall, they don’t run around screaming. They go deadly still. They observe and watch. Intuition is quiet. It doesn’t panic; it simply notices. It says, “That story didn’t quite add up,” and then it waits for more information.
The Rule: If you are sweating while refreshing your feed, that is your trauma screaming. It is not your higher self-speaking.
Channel the Queen of Swords
If you want to stop the spiral, you need to stop acting like the emotional Page of Cups and start acting like the Queen of Swords.
The Queen tolerates zero nonsense, but she also refuses to invent fiction. She deals exclusively in facts.
She sits on her throne with a clear sky behind her because she has cleared away the fog of “what ifs.”
Try the Queen’s Reality Check:
- The Fact: He hasn’t texted back in three hours.
- The Fiction: He is currently at a bar with his ex-girlfriend planning your demise.
Using Tarot to spy on a partner never works when you are this emotional. You will simply project your fears onto the cards (The Echo Chamber Effect).
Instead, use the deck to check yourself. Don’t ask if he is cheating. Ask why this silence is triggering your “flight or fight” response so aggressively.
Stop Hallucinating Monsters
The dating world has enough real red flags; you don’t need to manufacture new ones.
If he is consistently disrespectful, flaky, or cruel? Believe him. That is a red flag.
But if he is just living his life and forgot to charge his phone? That is just a human being, being human.
Retract your claws. Go for a walk. If he’s the right person for you, he’ll still be there when you calm down.
🔮 The Action Right Now
Before you send that “We need to talk” text, check your facts.
Disclaimer: TarotPaw content is for entertainment and spiritual support only. We are cats, not doctors, lawyer, or financial advisor. This content is not intended to replace professional (medical, legal, or financial) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a professional or call your local emergency services.
