Category: Dating & Relationships; Tarot Tips | Reading Time: 4 Minutes
Your thumb is actually starting to throb, isnโt it?
You are lying in the dark, face bathed in that sickly blue smartphone glow. Left. Right. Left again. The faces have long since blurred into a meaningless parade of half-smiles and bios that all claim to love โadventuresโ and โtacos.โ
At this point, the swiping is just a reflex, like a twitchy tail. You arenโt even looking for a connection anymore; you are just terrified of what happens if you stop.
Because the second you put that phone down, you have to sit with the silence of your own room. And for you, that silence feels like a heavy, suffocating judgment.
Here is the hard truth: You smell like desperation.
In the wild, animals can smell fear. In the dating world, humans can smell the scent of someone who needs a partner just to survive the night. It is the ultimate repellent.
You need to learn Self-Regulation
We need to talk about the emptiness youโre trying to patch over with strangers.
You arenโt using dating apps to find love; youโre using them as a pacifier.
If the idea of a weekend without a notification makes you restless and โitchy,โ you arenโt in a romantic mood. You are in a state of Nervous System Collapse.
You are reaching for a warm body to regulate your emotions because you havenโt learned how to do it yourself. This is called External Regulation.
Youโre acting like a Golden Retriever with severe separation anxiety, shredding the couch cushions because the owner went to the grocery store. You think youโre hunting for a soulmate, but youโre actually just hunting for a distraction from the person in the mirror.
The Hermit: Loneliness vs. Solitude
In the Tarot deck, some readers treat The Hermit like a death sentence because it feels lonely.
You see that old man (or in the TarotPaw deck, a Norwegian Forest Cat) standing on a snowy peak and you immediately spiral: โGreat. This is it. Iโm going to die alone.โ (Which, as a cat, I can tell you it is a five-star retirement plan, but I digress).
Youโre misreading the card. The Hermit isnโt lonely; he is solitary. There is a universe of difference between the two.
Loneliness is a hunger. Solitude is a feast.
The Hermit climbed that mountain on purpose. He packed his own supplies. He left the village because the noise was drowning out the sound of his own intuition.
Look closely at the Lantern he is holding. Inside, there is usually a glowing star. He isnโt waiting for a โRight Personโ to light his path. He is the light.
The Lighthouse Strategy
This is the ultimate Cat Energy.
I can sit in a cardboard box for six hours, staring at a single shadow, and feel spiritually complete. I donโt need you to entertain me to know that I exist. I am whole before you even enter the room.
If you donโt know who you are when the screen is dark and the house is quiet, you have nothing to offer a relationship except your own vacuum. You become an emotional vampire, draining your partnerโs battery because you donโt have a charger of your own.
You have been abandoning yourself.
Consider the Lighthouse. It doesnโt gallop across the waves chasing down boats, screaming, โPLEASE NOTICE ME!โ
It stays rooted to the rock while keep shines its light. It trusts that the ships meant for its harbor will see the glow.
Start Climbing
The Hermit teaches you to stop swiping and start climbing.
Go into your own cave for a while. Find out what you actually enjoy when you arenโt trying to perform for a date. Build a life so rich and thick with your own interests that you actually become protective of your peace.
Once you learn to be happy in the snow with your own lantern, you wonโt need a stranger to save you from the dark.
Youโll be looking for someone who has the stamina to climb the mountain and meet you at the top.
๐ฎ The Action Right Now
Kill the screen. The blue light is making your eyes look tired anyway. Itโs time to spend some quality time with the only person guaranteed to be there for all nine of your lives.
Turn the light inward.
Disclaimer: TarotPaw content is for entertainment and spiritual support only. We are cats, not doctors, lawyer, or financial advisor. This content is not intended to replace professional (medical, legal, or financial) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a professional or call your local emergency services.
