Category: Dating & Relationships; Mental Health; Tarot Tips | Reading Time: 5 Minutes
Your jaw is clenched so tightly that you can actually feel the tension radiating up into your temples.
You’re technically doing something mundane—driving to work or scrubbing a plate. But your mind is miles away. You are locked in a heated battle.
You are currently winning a flawless, devastating argument against someone who hasn’t even been in your life for five years. You are replaying their insults. You are refining your comebacks. You are keeping the anger hot and fresh by feeding it little scraps of your attention every single hour.
You might believe that by staying furious, you are somehow punishing them. The reality is much less heroic.
You are essentially drinking a bottle of poison and waiting for the other person to keel over.
While you are losing sleep and building an ulcer, they are likely eating pizza and watching Netflix, completely oblivious to your suffering.
The Science of Rumination (Addicted to Stress)
Why do we do this? In psychology, this repetitive replay of trauma is called Rumination.
It isn’t just a bad habit; it is a physiological addiction. When you get angry, your brain floods with Cortisol and Adrenaline.
If you hold onto a grudge, you are essentially keeping your body in a permanent “Fight or Flight” state. You aren’t “holding them accountable.” You are systematically wrecking your own immune system.
Your anger isn’t a weapon against them; it is a cage for you.
Knight of Swords Reversed vs. Six of Swords
In the world of Tarot, this mental loop is the Knight of Swords Reversed.
Upright, this Knight is decisive. Reversed? He is a chaotic mess. He is a warrior swinging a blade in an empty room. You keep charging forward because stopping would force you to feel the raw wound hidden beneath the rage.
You are swinging your sword at a ghost. There is no one left to fight.
The antidote is the Six of Swords. Look at the card: A figure in a boat, moving away from rough water toward smooth water. There are swords in the boat (memories), but the figure isn’t using them to fight. They are just cargo.
The lesson? You don’t have to forget the past to leave it behind. You just have to stop trying to drown in it.
The Hot Coal Theory
Most people have a distorted definition of forgiveness. They think that to forgive is to say, “What you did was acceptable.”
That is fundamentally incorrect.
If their actions were acceptable, you wouldn’t be in this much pain. Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person’s worthiness. It is a selfish act of self-preservation.
Imagine you are holding a burning hot coal. You picked it up to throw it at your enemy, but you never actually threw it. You’ve just been standing there, squeezing it tighter.
Now, your hand is covered in blisters.
Forgiveness is simply the physical act of opening your hand. It is the moment you decide that you are done burning yourself for the sake of a memory.
Why Titi Doesn’t Hold Grudges
I had a cat named Titi (may he Rest in Peace).
If I accidentally stepped on his tail, he reacted instantly. He hissed, ran as fast as he could, and hid.
But five minutes later? He was stretched out beside me, purring.
Titi didn’t hold grudges because being angry is a massive waste of nap energy.
He didn’t have a “moral” reason for letting go; he just understood that a grudge ruins the quality of his afternoon. He refused to carry the weight of a past injury into his next meal.
Fire the Debt Collector
You are treating your grudge like a family heirloom. You protect it and even polish it.
But a grudge is a bag of trash. As long as your hands are full of that garbage, you have no hands free to catch anything good—like peace, new love, or a really excellent sandwich.
Release the debt. Not because they paid what they owed (they never will). But because the collection agency inside your brain is tired of making the calls.
🔮 The Action Right Now
Your hands are full of ash and old burns. It’s time to decide if you’d rather keep the burned coal or keep your peace.
Disclaimer: TarotPaw content is for entertainment and spiritual support only. We are cats, not doctors, lawyer, or financial advisor. This content is not intended to replace professional (medical, legal, or financial) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a professional or call your local emergency services.
