Category: Tarot Tips & Ethics | Reading Time: 4 Minutes
Is spying on your ex through Tarot ethical? Does it even work?
The short answer is: No. The long answer is: We need to talk about why you are doing it.
It is 2:00 AM. The blue light of your phone screen is the only thing illuminating the room. You have refreshed his Instagram profile three times in the last five minutes, analyzing a photo of a ham sandwich to see if there is a “girl’s shadow” in the corner.
Your chest feels tight. You feel crazy. So, you grab your Tarot deck to scratch the itch.
You shuffle furiously. You ask: “What is he thinking about me right now?” or “Is he dating that girl from Accounting?”
You want the cards to be a hidden camera. You want them to sneak into his brain, rifle through his filing cabinet, and bring you back a stolen secret.
We need to have an uncomfortable chat, little one. This isn’t “seeking clarity.” This is Psychic Peeping.
And it smells worse than a litter box that hasn’t been scooped in a week.
The Echo Chamber Effect (Why It Doesn’t Work)
Ethics aside (we all know it’s rude to read someone without permission), there is a practical problem: It usually doesn’t work.
When you are manic, desperate, and sleep-deprived, you aren’t a clear channel. You are a projector.
Imagine trying to look through a window that is covered in mud. That mud is your anxiety.
If you ask about your ex and pull the Three of Swords, you scream, “Aha! He is heartbroken over me!”
You ignore the fact that he might just be sad his football team lost. Or he might have indigestion.
But because you are projecting your own desires onto the cards, you fill in the blanks with what you want to see. You aren’t getting a divine message; you are getting an echo of your own obsession.
Bane’s Law: Control Your Territory
You can only carry your own rocks.
At TarotPaw, we talk a lot about the Bowl of Rocks. Your life is your bowl. Your feelings are your rocks. You can move them, polish them, or throw them at a wall. They belong to you.
You cannot reach into your ex’s bowl.
My cat, Bane (a white local cat living like a king), understands this perfectly. He sits on the windowsill and watches the neighbor’s dog. He observes.
But he never wastes a second wondering, “Does the dog like me?” or “What is the dog planning?”
Bane doesn’t care. He focuses on his own fur. He cleans his own paws. He controls his own territory.
That is the energy you are missing. When you obsess over an ex, you are abandoning your own territory to patrol the borders of someone who locked you out.
The Mirror Trick
Does this mean you can never ask about a relationship? Absolutely not. But you have to pivot the camera.
Stop pointing the lens at them. Point it at yourself.
The only truth you have 100% access to is your own reaction. You are the protagonist of this movie, not a background character waiting for a line of dialogue.
The “Power Move” Rephrase:
- Don’t Ask: “What is he thinking?” (Invasive, likely inaccurate).
- Ask: “Why am I still obsessed with someone who doesn’t talk to me?” (Painful, but useful).
- Don’t Ask: “Is my boss mad at me?”
- Ask: “How can I feel more secure in my work, regardless of his mood?”
- Don’t Ask: “Will she come back?”
- Ask: “What does my soul need to feel whole right now, with or without her?”
Stop Haunting Your Own Life
Stop acting like a ghost haunting your own house.
When you ask about them, you are giving away your power. You are saying, “My happiness depends on this other person’s secret thoughts.”
Take it back. Be the cat, not the beggar.
Next time you feel the urge to do a “Stalker Read,” put the deck down. Drink some water. Then, pick the cards up and ask about the only person who actually matters in this equation: You.
Disclaimer: TarotPaw content is for entertainment and spiritual support only. We are cats, not doctors, lawyer, or financial advisor. This content is not intended to replace professional (medical, legal, or financial) advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a professional or call your local emergency services.
